characters of the Bible in a monastery

okay this is something quite humourous I stumbled apon written by Andre Beuchamp! it's quite hilarious so prepare for the stiches...

anyways here goes:

Characters of the Bible in a Monastery
(And the various problems that ensued)


Brother Adam: Never did manage to retrieve him from that bush. Whenever someone would stroll haplessly by he would cry aloud “I’ve sinned.”

Brother Noah: Kept on making puddles in the yard while trying to make a boat and coax others to join him.

Brother Abraham: He was so obedient; one was tempted to think he was a Labrador.

Brother Joseph: Kept on asking others to lie down on a couch; when they would comply, he would ask, “Now then, tell me about your dream?”

Brother Moses: Refused to stop playing with (parting) the tomato soup.

Brother Joshua: Announced every dinner that the Covent wall will, “Fall down in seven days.” Laps around the grounds ensued every evening.

Brother Samson: Ever heard of Cousin It?

Brother Samuel: Kept on telling others about his “voices.”

Brother David: That un-tuned harp was driving us MAD!

Brother Solomon: I do not think he comprehended the term “Celibate.”

Brother Isaiah: Refused to wear clothes, even while on the ‘Missions to the Poor’ ministry.

Brother Ezekiel: Kept trying to sneak dung-cakes in for midnight snacks.

Brother Daniel: Encouraged Brother Joseph by telling him his “dreams.”

Brother Jonah: His story (slightly altered) inspired the movie “Jaws.”

Brother Zacharias: Could not stop saying, “His name is John, his name is John.”

Brother John (the Baptist): Staunchly insisted that, “It’s not my fault that I unwittingly created the salvation practice for millions of Protestants.”

Sister Mary: Insisted that she was still a virgin, even after the barn incident.

Brother Peter: Always was boasting about how he could walk on Brother Noah’s puddles.

Brother John: Kept on annoyingly mimicking Jesus voice while saying, “What is that to thee? Follow thou me.” Snickers and black eyes ensued.

Brother Judas: A manic-depressive who had to be kept from all forms of string; shuddered at the sight of metal. (Sister Delilah called him cheap for awhile because he did not ask for 1,100 pieces of silver.)

Brother Paul: Insisted that the way the Bible Cartoons portrayed him makes him look gay.

Brother Titus: Felt “special” because, once upon a time, Brother Paul wrote him two letters.

Brother Gabriel: Could be heard snickering every time Sister Mary or the word ‘men’ was mentioned.

Brother Michael: Argued constantly that since his prostate is larger then Brother Gabriel’s that he should have been the one to impregnate Sister Mary.

Brother God: All he says is, “I’ve chosen a bunch of MANIACS



may the grint be with and may you love free...

-The Revig

cage

oh yeah I've finished a new peice: cage

check it out here http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/33496078/ inspired by the Metanoya song which you'll find links to there...

woRdstOCK

my life has changed... I'm sure of it... I don't know what or how it happened but it did... and it happened at wordstock...the school of prophets...
six whole days of compromise shattering classes, awe inspiring experiences, and spiritually renewing, liberating, moshing... oh yes there was moshing... every night, laced fully with the cascading, flowing, and all out revolutionary spirit of god... our spirits were one as our ragged voices tore the veil... we were so totally and fully possessed that nothing else mattered... only the moments of pure power that tumulted down from the heavenlies were all we knew... those nights were some of the best I've ever known... I get chills just thinking about them now... the total and all out no limits ambience that permiated that hall totally blew my mind.... it was like nothing I've ever known before... and there is nothing that I wouldn't give to experience the same thing again...
so here's to wordstock here's to the school of prophets... may the revolution live on!!!

these are the things I know to be true
these things I've experienced
because as I moved
I felt the spirits presence

http://www.wordstockrocks.com/

salty

wahoooo!!!

salt of the earth has a new song up.........NEW GENERATION!!!

here's the link...http://www.saltofearthband.com/






ENJOY!